4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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