Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the day after is always just damage control
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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