Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
