Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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