Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
