it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
