I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
