Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
