My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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