Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
