Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
