cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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