i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
