VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
