Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
