matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
