Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
