i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
