it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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