he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
