Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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