White coat. Heels.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
