I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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