someone owes me an orgasm
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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