she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
two words...techno handjob
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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