I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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