I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
