Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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