There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
