just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
