I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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