guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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