their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i have two assholes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
