Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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