I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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