Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
