I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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