Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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