i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Boobs are out for the taking
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
