i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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