I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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