38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
