if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
