Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you had me at cake vodka
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
