Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
