listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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