You work out of a Hotel?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
