Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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