i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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