from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize