I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
