it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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