All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
