There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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