i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My feet surprised me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
