Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
