Your dad touched me again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize