Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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