Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
