So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
