she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize