i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
